10 Month Mark and Operation: Make hubby a daddy by Christmas so I can hang the BFP HPT from the Tree

Well it has been a pretty good while since I have posted. Mostly because of the fact that some people don't understand what a "blog" is, that it is an opinion and point of view and after the nasty comments I got on some of my posts, I just figured to delete them. I guess I will vent in writing about the things that aren't considered "Politically Correct", even though I've gotten emails from ladies who feel the same way I do but don't have the guts to say what I say.

Not a lot has changed though. I am still not a mommy. It has been over 10 months on the TTC process (after the loss in Oct. of 2008). I have chosen to go see my OB/GYN that I saw when I was pregnant in January if I'm not pregnant by then. I will have covered the usual 12 month TTC mark, even though I know that isn't necessary since I've been charting, temping and using OPKs. I still have a normal period, around 31 days (some days 30 because it will come a few hours before midnight on the 31st day). Not a lot of pain with AF or anything, but it is usually only about 3-4 days and there have been months when my LP has been short so one of the first things I'm going to ask for is a progesterone test to be done. But maybe everything will work out, I feel like maybe she'll be more open to seeing if there is a problem since she has my ultrasound and blood work from the last time I was pregnant.

The most interesting thing that has changed is now I am on "Operation: Make hubby a daddy by Christmas so I can hang the BFP HPT from the Chrsitmas Tree" code worded MHADBC for short ha ha, yes it does sound weird but for our anniversary I got him an iPod Touch and a different set of ear buds (I hated the ones that came with mine) so I wrapped them seperately and gave him the ear buds first (kinda like so he would be like "What are these for"). Later that night he told me that he got really excited when he saw the package because it was oddly shapped because he thought it was going to be a BFP. He also said that I told him that he would be mad at me over the gift and he thought it was my way of telling him I was pregnant (don't quite understand this one). So he was really excited thinking I was pregnant. Which was crushing.

So the other day in the store we had went to get some Halloween candy for a friend of our's twins and he wandered off and came back holding a little girl 0-3 month Christmas dress and he had this look on his face of "OMG is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen and OMG why are we not pregnant because I want I a baby because I talk about it all the time so I think about it all the time and I want to spoil our child rotten and it isn't here yet". Dont' ask me how I know this, I just do. So to aide in the Operation MHADBC I have gotten the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and even though it is month one, I'm hoping (especially since I've got 12 boxes of CBE OPK pee sticks to use too!) and I started taking soy isoflavones (the natural clomid) but I'm a litte scared. It feels weird really trying to get pregnant. I won't have anyone to complain to when I am pregnant and have NO excuses to not have everything in order, bought and paid for.